Tuesday, December 21, 2010

the eppal


the beautiful red eppal still it vies
high above the eppal tree it lies.
i once saw it in a garden of fruits
a joyful land of budding new shoots.
i trod and milled beneath the tree
skipped in its shade a heart of glee.
hoping someday for a miracle to come by
as it falls in my hand all the while i try.
oh what a day when the ruby did!
so i thanked God for the love He cede.
held it in my palm,to muse and say:
"shall i eat thee?oh no never nay!"
"for nothing shalt compare to the beauty of thy,"
"for thou shalt always be the apple of my eye."


miraculously penned in the few minutes after finishing Bio Paper 1.
bored,peered around,and i just knew what to write:)

Monday, December 20, 2010

break thy meninges


ok so here's a riddle i totally made up.its a hidden mcg act.try cracking it if u may.nanti dtgla rumah tuntut brownie:)



i looked at the fifth lunar,
to see the beginning of greatness afar.
a beam of halo it shone,
where it all starts from the Divine's throne.
from the sybil's heart this fairytale grew,
 a beautiful prelude of love and finale of paradise in view.
with the tips of wings i flew,
not once but twice i do.
confused nor baffled never you,
for the truth lies right there within you.

Good luck :) 

Friday, December 3, 2010

a little bit more

two more weeks

still waiting
for that one end
the day i'll go
and take on the world.


and my dear friends,it's time we say goodbye for the last time
...ain't it?

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

framing young minds



The young generation needs to learn the ability and skills of leadership to inculcate a more tolerant and framed outlook for their future.Being in a multicultural society, they need to be exposed to greater interactions between different ethnic groups and cultures.It is thus in fact,that young leaders would only bring about a tolerant future given them the understanding and appreciation of other cultures.

But the problem of today's ensuing issues,parents tend to ignore the fact that when it comes to a nation of multiculturalism,freedom,and tolerance - the art of compromise and strong sense of reasoning,collaboration and teamwork,negotiating,forging new relationships- are all to concern to lie on the shoulders of our future leaders.

In a typical family,natural born and smart leaders - those who would make great leaders - are always told off to read Medics or Engineering rather than Law or Politics.More often than not,the mere idea of criticism and self-decision would be somewhat pushed aside or heatedly argued.They are always subjected to the idea of following the parents wishes of seeing a Doctor or Engineer in the family.Always on the hearing the idea that parents' decisions are the best.In the end,they remain in the same society frame and life cycle:study hard,get a job,and live happily ever after.As if.

They go to university,learning things different than what they are made of,go back home and start a career very different than what they are naturally entitled to.They would always be ignored their choice and decision when it comes to future,facing challenging family pressure.Another great mind is wasted.What could be useful to the society goes down the drain,flagging another possible downfall of a society.What could be used to revive the society is quieted.The parents are happy,but will the child?

Youths these days,not all are given the freedom of choice when it comes to their future.Most of the time,the encouragement would go into the professional field and not for them to assume leadership roles.Youths are needed to be taught the ability of sharp reasoning and critical leadership mindset.These vital abilities are more too often the prerequisites in order for them to lead.They need to have a strong and sturdy engagement with politics in order to become better leaders.

"Responsible leadership starts from being responsible citizens".True enough.Young children can already be taught the basic concept of equal citizenship.They can already be taught the skills of communicating and making strategies.Even at a young age,leadership qualities can already be traced and refined.Normally,children who tend to have the desire to face tough challenges,risks and obstacles would normally make the best leader.In one or another,they would try very hard to find the solution for the problems at hand with such air of supreme confidence.Respecting other cultures and different opinions tops above all.

It is sometimes saddening to see,that even at primary level,some youths are already discreted and separated by ethnicity, enticing the possibility of growing in stereotypes.This is when the of open-mindedness demands a look.Besides,as experience may convey it,stuffs like (credits to Bro Firdaus) rules of law,individual liberty,concepts of market economy,and principals of a democratic government, aren't that hard to explain.All it takes is the feeling of responsibility and the desire to learn.Trust me,if given the choice,I'd make myself really useful.

And therefore,youths today need to expand their knowledge base to gain insights of what the future of a progressed and unified nation would be in the next decade.

Saturday, September 4, 2010

terfikir semula

a very small glimpse of what Doctoring is all about:


Pengalaman Program Pendedahan Kerjaya Seorang Doktor

Assalamualaikum w.b.t buat semua warga APIS yang dirahmati Allah sekalian..

Di sini ana nak kongsi pengalaman ana mengikuti Program Pendedahan Kerjaya Seorang Doktor tajaan JPA. Mungkin sedikit sebanyak boleh membantu adik2 yang menyimpan hasrat untuk menjadi seorang doktor.

Alhamdulillah sebelum tu biarlah ana terangkan mengenai program ini. Program Pendedahan Kerjaya Seorang Doktor ini adalah satu program tajaan Jabatan Perkhidmatan Awam (JPA). Program ini wajib dihadiri oleh pelajar lepasan SPM yang berhasrat untuk melanjutkan pelajaran dalam bidang perubatan di bawah Program Ijazah Luar Negara (PILN). Jadi ana amat bersyukur kerana ana dipilih sebagai salah seorang calon biasiswa JPA untuk PILN perubatan.

Okay, sekarang ana akan mula ceritakan pengalaman yang ana telah hadapi sepanjang program tersebut..

Pada 22 Mac 2010, ana mendaftarkan diri di Hospital Taiping pada jam 9.00 pagi. Dalam pukul 9.45 pagi kami seramai 37 orang calon dibawa masuk berkumpul di satu bilik di Unit Kecemasan. Taklimat dimulakan oleh Dr. Fadzlee, Ketua Jabatan Kecemasan. Turut serta Dr. Marina dari unit pentadbiran hospital.

Antara ucapan yang Dr. Fadzlee ceritakan ialah mengenai kerjaya seorang doktor itu sendiri. Dr. Fadzlee kata jadi doktor ni mesti kerja tanpa mempunyai bilik sendiri seperti seorang pegawai bank. Doktor mesti sentiasa berjalan untuk memeriksa pesakit. Satu lagi, kalau nak jadi doktor, jangan bermimpi nak jadi seorang 'boss' sebabnya doktor kena work as a team. Setiap doktor mesti rujuk doktor lain yang lebih senior dan berpengalaman.

Selesai sesi pembukaan, kami dibahagikan mengikut kumpulan. Ada 5 kumpulan semuanya, jadi 3 kumpulan ada 7 calon dan 2 kumpulan ada 8 calon. Setiap kumpulan akan dihantar ke 5 unit hospital iaitu unit Accident & Emergency (A&E), Forensik, Obstetric and Gynaecology (O&G), Ortopedik, dan Surgery.

Group ana adalah group pertama yang dihantar ke unit Surgery. Walaubagaimanapun, kami tidak berpeluang untuk masuk ke bilik pembedahan disebabkan bilangan ahli kumpulan yang agak ramai. Bukannya apa, takut nanti mengganggu pulak doktor yang sedang membuat pembedahan. Jadi kami diletakkan di wad pembedahan. Di wad ni kami dibawa 'round' oleh ketua jururawat (sister) sambil cerita tentang instrument2 pembedahan. Selepas tu, kami dibiarkan satu hari di wad tu. Jadi kami bebas untuk beramah dengan pesakit dan doktor2 di wad tu. Apa pun kami tak berani sangat nak tanya doktor macam2 sebabnya doktor2 di wad ni nampak kelihatan sibuk sangat. Itulah kerja doktor, berjalan ke sana sini sampai tak ada masa untuk duduk bersantai. Apatah lagi kalau terpaksa 'on call' 24 jam..

Di wad tu ana sempat bersembang dengan seorang jururawat. Tak ingat pula namanya. Dia tanya ana, "Betul ke nak jadi doktor ni? Sanggup kerja 24 jam tanpa henti? Sampaikan masa nak tidur pun tak cukup? Kalau waktu rehat pun sempat untuk mandi dan urus diri je. Lepas tu kena masuk kerja balik." Ana pun diam sambil tersenyum je. Nurse tu sambung, "Jangan terkejut kalau saya cakap ada doktor yang jadi gila sebab tekana kerja. Jadi kalau nak jadi doktor ni kena fikir banyak2. Kalau setakat ibu bapa yang suruh sedangkan kita sendiri tak minat, lupakan je lah.."

Hmm.. apa pun kita sendiri je yang boleh jawab tentang tu.. Akhirnya dalam pukul 5.00 petang ana pun balik rumah, menanti untuk hari seterusnya..

Hari ke-2, 23 Mac 2010

Hari ni kami bermula lebih awal. Seawal jam 8.00 pagi kami dibawa ke unit O&G. Di sinilah unit untuk sakit puan.

Dekat O&G unit ni, sisternya bernama Harimah. Sister Harimah sangat peramah. Kami berasa lebih seronok dari unit semalam. Mungkin unit surgery semalam tak cukup doktor jadi keadaannya agak sibuk.

Kami dibwa melawat ke seluruh unit O&G. Mula2 sekali kami mulakan 'le tour' kami di klinik daycare. Klinik daycare ni untuk pemeriksaan harian ibu2 mengandung. Pesakit tak perlu masuk wad.

Kemudian, yang paling ana takkan lupakan sampai bila2 pun; kami diberi peluang untuk melihat seorang ibu melahirkan anak secara 'live'.
Kami sangat bertuah sebab kamilah group pertama yang berpeluang melihat secara dekat. Bayangkanlah, macam mana perasaan anda untuk lihat dengan mata sendiri seorang ibu melahirkan anak secara normal. Macam tak percaya kan? Tapi itulah cabaran kami yang pertama.

Waktu di labour room tu, ada dua orang ibu yang sedang bertarung nyawa untuk melahirkan anaknya. Yang paling kami teruja, seorang daripada ibu tu baru je berusia 19 tahun. Dia mengalami kesulitan sikit untuk melahirkan. Kami semua dengar jeritannya yg menusuk kalbu kami.. Ya Allah, tak dapat ana ceritakan bagaimana bisingnya dalam labour room ni.

Kami lihat sendiri bagaimana doktor sambut bayi dari seorang ibu yang melahirkan secara normal. Memang satu pengalaman la.. Sister ada cakap pada kami, waktu ni lah seorang doktor kena jaga dua nyawa sekaligus. Nyawa si ibu dan si baby. Apa pun alhamdulillah dalam group ana yg seramai 4 perempuan dan 3 lelaki; tak ada seorang yang pun pengsan melihat situasi ini.. Tapi ada juga yang berlawak tak lalu nak makan lepas pengalaman ni..

Pada sebelah petangnya selepas solat zohor, kami ada sesi 'discussion' bersama ketua jabatan O&G iaitu Dr. TFL Gill. Tapi bagi ana sesi ini lebih kepada sesi 'brainwash' oleh doktor2.
Dalam sesi tu Dr. TFL turut memanggil 10 orang doktor housemansip (HO). Jadi secara keseluruhannya seramai 11 orang doktor kesemuanya.

Dalam sesi tu kami didedahkan apa sebenarnya yang tersembunyi di sebalik kerjaya seorang doktor. Kami diuji dengan bermacam soalan yang membuat kami terfikir semula; sanggup ke nak jadi doktor? Ana ingat lagi Dr. TFL kata, "Medicine is not a job.. As a doctor, you deal with people's life. As you make mistake, you are killing people. And you will feel the loneliness in your life when you kill your first patient!" Dr. TFL sambung, "So if you want to be a doctor just because you want to gain POPULARITY or MONEY, just FORGET about it."

Itulah antara kata2nya yang membuatkan ana terfikir balik. Apapun ana hanya mampu menjawab soalan tu pada diri ana sendiri.. Lebih kurang pukul 5.15 petang barulah sesi tu tamat..

syukran to asrar_syamim

Thursday, June 17, 2010

repacking my life

bizarre kismets of an ordinary life.
yeah,certainly,thats whats happening to me.


to be honest and frank,
im not me at the moment i guess.
couldnt control myself these days.


[sigh]
but friendship do come a long way,
in rebuilding your strength and hope
its all about trusting and being trusted.
something i learned for the past two-weeks.


but hey,
its not easy to trust someone so deeply
and not a walk in the garden either
to earn the trust of someone.


alas,
the curtains drawing.
its about time i forget all those nonsense,
and start reshaping my goal,
repacking my efforts,
replenishing my ambitions.


set my goal,
aim for it,
go!

Friday, April 30, 2010

our steps:our history

it's my last tournament of iium interschool debating championship.and it was certainly something id never want to forget.not because of the winnings,but because of the memories that would become a part of me someday.everything was decided.and i was the lucky one to have this part of His decision.

Nur Amalina             [1st speaker]
         Wan Mohamad Hasif [2nd+reply speaker]
Me                          [3rd speaker]
Azleen Zaihira          [4th speaker]


lots of helping hands came.bro atif,bro fitri,sis mizani,sis aqmar,kak aisya n kak teha,bro mukhariz and bro firdaus for their support tho they couldnt come.and never forgotten,the teachers.so talking about the whole debate stuff, lemme just simplify the matches.its best to ramble about what i got there.more at heart.hahahaha!

olrite first draw [17042010]
thw introduce sex education in malaysian schools
mrsm balik pulau vs smapk
we won.

2nd:
thw use convict labors for national projects
smapk vs mrsm lenggong
won.

3rd [18042010]:
thw suspend athletes who commit gross social indecencies.
smapk vs ssp
lost.

4th:
thw teach swimming classes to countries that are sinking due to global warming.
smapk vs smk assunta
won.

5th:
thw ban any depictions of minors engaging in consensual sex on television
sdar vs smapk
won.

6th [19042010]:
thw allow airlines to make obese passengers pay for weight-surcharge
smk (l) methodist vs smapk
lost

thankfully, we broke to the double octos:
thw never give the death penalty to anybody ever and ever
smstsss vs smapk
won.

the octos:
thw entitle housewives and househusbands to claim for fixed wages from their working spouses.
smapk vs sas
surprisingly,we won.

the quarter-finals [20042010]
thw force doctors to divulge information for suspected domestic violence cases.
smss vs smapk
lost.

and so that's basically what happend.

now,on a more refined journey of the whole debating thing, i discovered that debating is not just about arguing.the most important thing it teaches is confidence.more importantly,the bond of what i like to call, debate family.its all about supporting and trusting.something i really like to rmb.hahaha.

its barely visualizing now,those memories of bro atif and bro fitri hardworkingly trying to wake me and hasif up (esp me!) after a long and tiring day.they too,at times gave sooo many words of encouragements.could still rmb what bro fitri told me after the match  that night against sas.the match that i was soo dissatisfied with.but then again, its all back to Allah.thx bro!sis mizani and sis aqmar's sacrifice of their sweet holiday, coming all the way to accompany us.they were the very supportive sisters.could still rmb sis aqmar arriving during our match against smk assunta with her bag.how strong.uu...how touching.hehe.kak aisya and kak teha also came.somtimes they'd drop by straight from work just to meet us and make sure we're ok.and of course mdm zuraidah.dunno what to say.so many sacrifices done.all the way from school.she had the best luffs at the audi,coming with lots of newspapers,riding in her car back to mahallah.after the tournament,we went to celebrate.she bursted again in yet another string of luffter when we reopened the last year's story of "wait a moment~".phew~what a memory.and lots of other things im starting to forget.lots of other memories i cld barely rmb now.dunno whats happening.tht's y im capturing it here.hahahaha:)

they say debating is also a platform where you meet other people.well,i think i found more than just that.my friends back from the jenesys trip: zalikha,anis,farhan.met them there - again.still the same.still them.only that i think im much taller than anis.haha.perasan.appearance-wise, quite a few changes.one of the girls, her eyes are somewhat a bit different.hmm..and yup.did met the three of them like we always do back then.i secretly went outside the main hall during the english finals to say a few 'Hi's and probably the last goodbyes.farewells?i hate them.hahaha!i noe the next day i wont have much tym anymore.that nite was the only chance.but too bad din have a pic with them.regrets?naah.my fault anyway.and the only one all the way from north.nur adilla.managed some 'hi's when watching the BM team going against kisas at semis.saw haikal too,during the grand dinner - my best fren back then in primary school.wondering too where the KP of stf went - liyana syahirah.i swear i saw [STF] boldly written in the registration sheet.came to know they couldnt come due to h1n1(?).thx too to the ppl of intesaber.umm..akhiar,syahir,zalikha,ezlyni for spending their time a bit during one of the dinners.and to their seniors too.oh.hasif and i was in the same room with smstsss's students btw.never thot we would go against them at the double octos!hahaha.luckily nothing happened back inside the room.hehe.

and every nite,the both of us would sneak up to the bro's room to listen to their nightly 'tazkirah's.and all of these are flashing in my head right at this very moment as im typing it into words here.the sheer determination of immortalizing it.

and the team.dunno what else to say.seriously guys, THANK YOU for everything.we luffed,scuffled,argued,smiled,discussed,got confused together,saddened,joyed..all done together in the name of teamwork and ukhuwah.now talking about ukhuwah.this is something different.something i never wished or dreamt of-but beautifully, it played its script with His Guides.just for me to have,and im thankful for that.im also thankful for the only other guy in the team, wan mohamad hasif.the team-player i might say,he did a few saves and endearing reply speeches which led to our victories.very capable and fluent in his speech.lots of things i learnt from him.not just debating, but also for my personal use.often times when i started helling my mouth with words of inconfidence,he would remind me and said: "afiq, ad hadis ckp:berkatalah yg baik sahaja atau diam".subhanallah.some guy here.wonderful guy.sorry for all my faults and inconvenience and 'bad mouth'.

and amalina - speechless.you're one confident girl.with her cute-and-somewhat-non asian looks (once asked her about that),she's the best and convincing 1st speaker ive ever met.done lots of great jobs in either presenting or rebutting the case.still rmb her baffled looks when listening to hasif's explaination during prep time.and sometimes during debate,she'd get 'sounded' by me.hahahaha.im terribly sorry amalina.maybe it was the pressure.or maybe i just lack confidence in myself - my bad.

to azleen,hmm..one hardworking and obedient daughter at home,i guess.haha.she's the one who would be carrying all those stack of papers.writing down the Stands and Points.searching for the dictionary.handing out blank papers.keeping our phones during debate.clapping her hands and cheering us up.being the Devil during prep time.who says a reserve dun do anything?and azleen, we really really appreciate it and we'd really like to say thank you for all those helps.it'd be really hard for us if there was no "You".personally, sorry too for any inconvenience i might have caused you.i noe i did,dun deny that.and thru all of you too, i learnt what it means of supporting and teamwork and trust.thank you.

after that quarter finals, i said to myself that would be the last of my debate career.and up to this day,id still rmb those ppl who had made it a part of me.the question here,just how much would i rmb it again?

"and therefore,i rest my case.thank you"

Friday, March 26, 2010

pardon me

im sorry
it's a risk ill have to take
for the days that had gone wrong
for the time that had went awry
i certainly am puzzled

do i still have a chance?
till the rain may fall again

from the dreads i had caused
to find solace from the ends i strayed
and till the clouds may shrivel
ill look up the stars
from the hopes i seek
to the days i'd dream

Saturday, March 20, 2010

there was a moment like this


the idea to pen this down actually came to remembrance a few hours ago.hahahaha.olryt2.it was another bleak thursday morning,yet serene enough to ensure my last paper was done nicely and neatly.right after the last minute,i was already hot on my heels,rushing back to the dorm to pack my bag.

(it took me 6 minutes to do that...)
so the super hot evening saw me sweating like a seal,running back and forth to make sure all debate stuffs are on the bus.and we're off!

at night,there were some..uhh..'taklimat'.but as usual,the only class that would light up and noisy with Bro Firdaus's teachings was ours.hahaha.we're darn good escapees:)


next day,the battle began.11 - 14 march 2010

[0730.12032010]
session 1 = culture
against kusess
thbt traditional games should be made compulsory in schools (govt)
-alhamdulillah.this first win of ours was a great booster.and hasif was GOOD!

[1430.12032010]
session 2 = sports
against sepintar
thbt sports team should be punished for violence perpetrated by their fans (oppo)
-again,hasif was the best speaker.

[2030.12032010]
session 3 = environment
it was a bye!
-watched the BM team debated against i-dunno-what-school-was-it at somewhere.and whooots!lots of watchers!i saw kak wirdah,kak sofia,...and zalikha.wow wow.now that's some company.

[0730.13032010]
session 4 = social
against integom
thbt married couples should live with their parents (govt)
-unquestionably,the last two wins helped us to built better case.even kak aisya praised us for our case.and again,hasif was the best speaker.

[1030.13032010]
session 5 = economy
against sas
thw support mega-sales (oppo)
-our first lost made us sure to be firmer and sturdier.but they did say it was one of their best match.hmm..i take that as a compliment!hahaha~

[1430.13032010]
session 6 = politics and leadership
bye bye,bye~
-watched a bit of some debates,and went back to prepare for the night.bro firdaus,bro mukhariz,sis aisya,and another i-forgot-his-name guy was there too.and we skipped dinner too.hahahaha.

[2030.13032010]
session 7 = education
against intersaber
thw support home-based schooling
-this was our determiner of going to the semis.and alhamdulillah,we made it.but come to think of it,it was also one of our best debates.we knew we had to give it all that night.the opponents were equally good too.esp the 3rd one.she got lots of supporters on the bench.hahaha.not to mention some quirky quotes on education which raised my eyebrows quite a few times..(she also mouthed the word 'tokoh nilam' at me when hasif said "bookworm")oh yeah,we too.brought the whole basketball team!hahaha!anyway zalikha,it was one of my best debates.thanks for it!and thx to syahir(i guess) n ezlyni/izlyni/ezlini..(either one kot)

[0730.14032010]
the real fight...
semi-finals = science and technology
against asis
thbt technology has made us less human
-that was the day we did our super-duper bestest.kak aisya said it was even better than before's.

as everybody anticipated the results,we were all hoping for the best.but then again,everything happens for a reason.we were sad,for sure,when we knew we lost.still that wasnt the end of the world.even teacher faniza from sas gave us encouraging words which we took it gladly(coz actually,we kinda had cut a deal to go to kelantan together.hahaha.looks lyk hazim's the only one going).we won 4/6 matches.and hasif got the most 'best speaker'.

alhamdulillah,the BM team did win the finals.a 4years-in-a-row feat.wuuuhuuu!see ya in kelantan.hahaha.hopefully.

well,it ended.rmb guys,we did our best,and theres no reason to feel sad or guilty over it.the time may come when our hard work will pay off.all that are in the hands of Allah.we'll just keep on praying.
(and that night,bro firdaus treated us alice in wonderland - at 2am.hehe)

[hasif.afiq.azleen.amalina.sufyan.syahmi.hafiz.naim]
[kak aisya.kak...cgu zelasari.cgu hajar.bro mukhariz.abg otel]
[bro hidayat.bro atif]
 
thx to:teacher khairul husna and teacher zuraidah,for making our senior year as debaters a blissful memoir.thank you for all the knowledge and teachings.

thx to:bro atif and bro asyraf,for the endless tips and advices.it certainly helped!

thx to:bro mukhariz,for coming down all the way frm utp to support us,help us,and make sure we did it correctly.and for the green book too:)

thx to:bro firdaus,for the boundless tutor,expert advices,cool strategies,KFCs,pisang gorengs,sweets,chocolates,foods and such.it was very uplifting to have you around teaching and helping us on debating.

thx to:kak aisya,eventho we just knew you,it's an awesome meeting!honestly,we feel soo lucky to have you around too.you made us clear when all around were vague.thank you for that sis!(and gudluck!)

thx to:the opponents,particularly intersaber and sas - for such great debates.

thx to:the basketball team - on their very supportive loud cheers.hahahaha.esp cipot.

thx to:my teammates;amalina - your the best 1st speaker ive ever seen.your confidence is soooo unmatchable i never didnt even get close to that point.keep it up!
hasif - i dun know what to say about you.YOURE SO COOOOL!hahahaha.best speaker for 4 times!and a best friend.thx buddy for all the helps!goodluck too!
and azleen - thx for everything.i mean it!the sandwiches,orange juice,tissues,staplers,..all of em.your the best helper!:):):)




*sighing* thank you,Allah.for the life you gave,for the friends you gifted,for the time you allowed,for the days you lived me through,for the knowledge you let me into,for the strength you lifted my spirit with,for the help you side me with,for the light you guided me into,and for the times you were always there for me.


i knew you were there to help me,and i know you are here with me.

Monday, March 15, 2010

the four things that i need

there are for things in this world that would really mean a lot to me.hahahaha.it was actually suggested by a good friend of mine.now im thinking she's right.i do need it.its mere absence is driving me crazy! now lets see what those things are.




SLEEPFOODLAUGHTERANDDREAMS




now lets go through one by one shall we?

SLEEP = its a a naturally recurring state of relatively suspended sensory and motor activity, characterized by total or partial unconsciousness and the inactivity of nearly all voluntary muscles.Sleep is a heightened anabolic state, accentuating the growth and rejuvenation of the immune, nervous, skeletal and muscular systems. err.ok.in other words, you sleep to get rest.n yes, when it comes to sleep i do need em.after the week long debate.quite letih jugak lah.n speaking about this as a student, obviously sleep is one of the things and most probably the only thing that i would lack.hahahaha.schedules are so....um..WEIRD.

second, FOOD = some people eat to live, and some people live to eat.as if that's their destiny.the whole and perhaps only purpose of living.now to keep myself energized all the way and keep myself from panting and heaving and sweating like mad..(like i did when climbing the stairs to SMAPK's room at intergomb's 4-floored hostel.hehe.) obviously i would need lots and lots of err..food.yeah, food.food rich in carbo and such.its all about the energy.on the point, it is WISE and semestinya not to eat till your cheek puffs up like one of my friend's.otherwise the funfair's clown could use you to substitute the balloons.so, better watch your tummy! but actually.chocolates are really tasty too.love em all the way thru:)

third, LAUGHTER = everyone noes that laughter is humor and how infectious it is. The sound of roaring laughter is far more contagious than any cough, sniffle, or sneeze.because when laughter is shared, it not only makes everyone around you happy, it also binds and tighten that happiness into an intimacy and understanding of relationship.but yeah, the main reason i may be too stressed out is probably because of the fact that recently i really lack some good laughs.



and lastly,DREAMS = no im not going to ramble about the dreams we all have during our nightly journey in our sleep - tucked snugly in bed.no.this particular 'dream' im talking about is the dream of life.the dream that often as human we have but tend dearly to forgot along the winding course of this so challenging and testing life.

as a child we were often threw the question of what do we want to be in our future.it'd not be the near future to be exact.often too, the most common answers as some might remember are:

"i wanna be a Doctor!"
"a pilot's cool.."
"hmm..im thinking of being an engineer"

and such.but in fact, as we grow up we do realise and learn the lesson that life is not just about what do you do in your future.in every life of a soul and Servant of Allah there already lies the Qadar and Qada' that we all had, are, and will be following.the choice and decisions change as the lifes around us start to play its very own script.


yes,this life we have of Dunia is all but a big drama.


and so we have to ask ourselves.what is exactly the kind of dream that we all should have?its ok to dream as much as possible.after all, we aint human if we dont, ryt?dreams are what make some among us to succeed and achieve all those imaginations thought to be stupid and ridiculous.
even so, one have to always bear in mind that no matter how high we may dream, the only One that we shall never forget to dream of meeting Him is Allah.may all of our deeds and effort are into His Redha and Guidance.insyaallah...

if you ask me.. well then, i would dream of all the most beautiful dreams i could ever possibly think of.get married, have kids, a gud life, die in peace, and of course, meet the One who had created me from a heap of dirty dirt.to add, i do have some crazy dreams!but i dun think it will be appropriate to write it down here.come to think of it, it's bursting my temple right now!!

now these i believe, are my new essences of living a good, perfect life!wish me luck!

Sunday, March 7, 2010

sanah helwah ya akhi!

SELAMAT HARI MEMBESAR BANGCIK!



Bismillahirrahmanirrahim
7 March 2010


Dah 11 tahun.
Dah tiba masanya untuk membesar dengan lebih tinggi.hehe..

Wow.dah lebih sebelas tahun hidup dengan Alif.rasa mcm sekejap sahaja hari pertama tengok bangcik dalam dakapan emak.sangat sekejap.

Dan dah hampir sebelas tahun jua Alif menjadi adik yang terbongsu (termanja,terkecik,tercomel dan ternakal).Dibuli,dimarah,disuruh.tapi dah menjangkau usia setua ini,sudah tiba masa untuk kurangkan sikit ke-baby-an yang dulu ye.(jgn nangis2 lgi!hehe).but still, cbe maintain yg chubbiness tuh,kang xde tempat nk lepas geram.

Ingat,seumur hidup yang panjang ni, hanya sekali je kita menjadi kanak-kanak.dalam sekali ini juga,raikan ia sebaik mungkin.jangan terlalu sibukkan diri dengan study.tapi jangan pula terlalu leka bermain.ingat, apa2 pun study mesti mendahului.dan mesti capai cita2 tu.(dah ad blum?)

dan yang paling penting,belajar jadi manusia yang hebat.
yang pasti, you'll always be our dearest adik.
dan sebab yang pasti jua, bangcik ADIK YANG TERHEBAT!

all the best for you, akhi.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

a self-review




You must rely on God, for He suffices, enriches, and concerns Himself with those who do so.
Imam ‘Abdallah Ibn ‘Alawi Al-Haddad


salam.

i always believes and knows that deep inside my heart, craves a need and reliance to Allah.He has always proved to me in lifting me up during those testing moments, to be given the words of encouragement through times of trouble by His Kalam.He is the only pivotal source of Inspiration and Strength.

and yet too, often i would feel likew giving up and relentlessly, succumb to defeat. i would in vain,heaves in frustation.sometimes, when things get too hard, i would feel like breaking up.

but oh i know and i know..i should never ever give up.

And the one who relies on God, God will suffice him. [Al-Thaalaq:3]


it's been a very tough week, and for the next three weeks.ya Allah...


Wahai Pemilik nyawaku
Betapa lemah diriku ini
Berat ujian dariMu
Kupasrahkan semua padaMu

Tuhan, Baru ku sedar
Indah nikmat sehat itu
Tak pandai aku bersyukur
Kini kuharapkan cintaMu

Kata-kata cinta terucap indah
Mengalun berzikir di kidung doaku
Sakit yang kurasa biar jadi penawar dosaku
Butir-butir cinta air mataku
Teringat semua yang Kau beri untukku
Ampuni khilaf dan salah selama ini
Ya ilahi....
Muhasabah cintaku...

Tuhan... Kuatkan aku
Lindungiku dari putus asa
Jika ku harus mati
Pertemukan aku denganMu






Saturday, January 30, 2010

the changes i should have made

subhanallah.lots of things changed and happend since the day the first session of school starts.all things seems to come with tht very much of suddenness.

of something i never expected i could even bear its burden.but Allah knows better.His Plans,His Judgement and yes, His Mercy and Love knows that i could.

if only this body could ever be so strong.

at times, u never expected anyone to believe in you.but then, there are those who came and trusted you.believe in you.know that you can help them.

sometimes, you would try to tell them...that you are not the best.but they just wouldnt listen.

if only they knew...

the dead ends i may face.the stumbling block i may encounter.the high walls that never seem to collapse..i seek Your forgiveness.guide me so that i can try to be the best.

lately, there just seems to be lots of talking bout death.everybody seemd endorsed with the stories.but just how many did stop.turn around and take a look back of their life's history?

are our deeds enough to pass us through? have we done enough? our sins? did we seek Repentance and Forgiveness? have we done it? those questions seemd to fly me thru.

but the fitnah of Dunia.the time-constrain of works made me forgot.

a good friend of mine once gave a tazkirah:


"biarlah kita sibukkn diri kita dgn homeworks,dgn jawatan2,kelas2 tambahan. tapi jgn smpi kita sibuk sehingga lupakan Allah.."


he's rite.lately, i just read a blog - the blog that i often read.this brother, tho i do not know him well but only thru his blog, should be an inspiration to all of us.

battling a chronic disease, he perseveres tho he does know the verdict of the battle.from as i can see, his mother is very lucky to have him.a very good son,looking up to the stars above and yet so humble.he went to England to study Medics, but only to receive the news that he suffers the disease he should be studying.from there, he knows that Allah has made His Plans.

he went thru series of sessions.and each tym, posting to his blog.in there, words of courage and mettle showd how strong he is.words of Allah never fails to appear in his writings.and now.. i may no longer see new strengths from him.

and his latest post...


No affliction befalls in the earth, by way of drought [for example], or in yourselves, such as illness, or the loss of a child, but it is in a Book, meaning, the Preserved Tablet (al-lawh al-mahfūz), before We bring it about, [before] We create it — the same is said [to be true] of [God’s] graces — that is indeed easy for God. [57:22]

Brother, we will always pray for you.